that turquoise room

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December 27, 2012 by August Rain

i go up to that room and it is cold as i open the door and as i glance at the poster-sized collage put together for his high school graduation in kansas and i force my eyes to continue to other things but then those other things become the little league picture taken when he was ten and chubby and freckle-faced and smiling just a year before i brought hot painful tears to his eyes and i want to throw up or stab myself or grab the world by its pillars and shake, shake, shake it until it crumbles all around me and on me but then i pull back knowing that i have already done this to him and to them and that is the last thing i ever wanted to do and i just cannot believe i did it. i just can’t believe.ImageImageImageImageImageImage

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