February 4, 2011 by August Rain
I guess I will leave “Hello world!” as the title of this post…even though I don’t know if anyone in the world will read it! smile.
Today. Dealing with the criticisms of my husband. Of Brad. Or…sometimes, especially lately, it is the unspoken words. But, I deal with it by dismissing it..eventually. I think about it–it affects my thoughts and moods somewhat, but I have learned to dismiss it as coming from someone who is a critical, unhappy, miserable, judging person who drinks to escape from himself. And I think about how I do not want to be like him — if I try to live my life to please him I might just become like him. Actually, I WILL become like him and there is no way I want that to happen. It won’t happen.
But he needs love. I need to love him. Sometimes I want to love him. Well, I want to be a loving person and that has to include loving my husband. I have to love him. Love is the journey–the lesson–the dream–the thing I want to learn to want to reach for!
Making soup. Sitting in the kitchen in Claire’s winter jacket from the closet in the mudroom..still wearing it from when I fed the puppies and Meika and Keiko. Wore an IU red hat and big duct taped boots. It is 6 degrees outside!
Ready to go up and take a shower. Become presentable for the day.
Need to call mom and invite them up for some soup.
Off I go.